The Seeker

A Meta-Cognitive Journal About Writing… Plus Other Stuff

Confidential to Joe Buck: Own It

with one comment

Dear Joe Buck:

You came out this week and told the public that your vocal cord damage in 2011 was a result of multiple hair plug surgeries over the course of your broadcasting career.  Your eighth procedure tipped the scales; the effects of the general anesthetic did the damage.  I’m glad you have recognized your addiction and are aware of the problem.  No doubt others who face cosmetic addictions will benefit from your awareness and your choice to go public with it.  I respect, too, that you said the problem stemmed purely from your vanity.  It takes a lot of emotional fortitude to be so public about your faults, to be vulnerable like that.  If it helps, I’m a man your age who has twenty years experience with hair loss.  The best thing you can do is get comfortable with it.  My life hasn’t been altered in any way because of hair loss, except for the purchase of more hats than most men buy because it’s damn cold during Chicago winters (especially during a polar vortex), and sunburning your bald scalp hurts like a sonofabitch.

The ancient Greeks believed that when a man tries to avoid his fate, he ends up causing it to happen.  I was thinking about that one day a few years ago when I wrote a poem about baldness, thinking that the opposite of avoiding a situation is owning it, and if it’s something personal like baldness, owning it means you can make fun of yourself about it.  I had a lot of fun drafting the piece; maybe it will provide you with some reassurance.

Eamus Catuli!

Jeff Burd

 

Own It

When daily your brush grows thick like a wooly bear,
own it.

When more hairs than you can count twist in the swirl of your drain,
own it.

When your pipes clog with clumps of those who forsook their roots,
own it.

Own it when the summer sun blisters your naked scalp
and January winds whip across it.

You’ll have no choice but to own it when your child,
smug with the self- satisfaction of youth,
utters the cold straight truth to your wife:
Daddy’s going bald!

All this failing, there will come a day
when you comb through generations
of family photos and are presented
with the irrefutable evidence
that Fate braided into your DNA
has stuffed you into the lower
recesses of a Punnett Square
where now you elbow for room
with Curly and Uncle Fester
and every other bb—
so you might
as well
own it.

~Jeff Burd

 

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Written by seeker70

October 9, 2016 at 1:33 pm

Posted in Uncategorized

One Response

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  1. The best thing you can do is get comfortable with it. My life hasn’t been altered in any way because of hair loss, except for the purchase of more hats than most men buy because it’s damn cold during Chicago winters (especially during a polar vortex), and sunburning your bald scalp hurts like a sonofabitch. The ancient Greeks believed that when a man tries to avoid his fate, he ends up causing it to happen. I was thinking about that one day a few years ago when I wrote a poem about baldness, thinking that the opposite of avoiding a situation is owning it, and if it’s something personal like baldness, owning it means you can make fun of yourself about it.

    HRam47@aol.com

    October 9, 2016 at 1:39 pm


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