The Seeker

A Meta-Cognitive Journal About Writing… Plus Other Stuff

Disembarkation Blues: How Carnival Cruise Lines leaves you high and dry once your cruise is over

with 2 comments

They pumped you up for months before your cruise, dangling before your eyes visions of high seas adventure, tropical romance, and fruity, rum-infused drinks. Once onboard, they delivered the drinks to your chaise lounge on the Lido deck, made your bed, and serenaded you at dinner each night. It was all a conveniently-packaged Caribbean aphrodisiac; a Mickey Finn in your Mai Tai. But when it’s all over, Carnival Cruise Lines will strut out of your life with the cool detachment of a frat boy on a Sunday morning.

Perhaps the Carnival customer services people could do more in the wake of your adventures to help you readjust to reality. A list of convenient reminders might help:

1. Your Sail and Sign Card means nothing at the local pub. They’ll laugh you out of the place the first time you try to use it to cover a round of drinks.

2. You can wander around your house looking for pizza and ice cream at all hours if you wish, but you’re probably not going to find much.

3. Get used to sunburn– chances are that a woman you just met and barely know is not going to rub SPF 30 on your back.

4. Walking the sidewalks of your neighborhood at 2AM will raise suspicion about you rather than fill you with the sense of romance and euphoria you felt when walking the decks of the ship in the wee hours of the morning.

5. Go ahead and pick up the waiters and waitresses in the middle of dinner at a local restaurant and swing them around . Find out what happens.

6. Karaoke isn’t nearly as fun in front of your friends and family as it is in front of strangers.

7. For the most part, sunrises on land are overrated.

8. Sure you can walk from your home to a restaurant to a show lounge to a comedy club to a karaoke bar to a piano bar and then back home all in one night; just don’t expect to have much time or energy left to enjoy any of them.

9. Don’t walk around on your porch/patio/balcony at home the same way you did on the balcony of your stateroom.  Unless you have some bail money set aside for the occassion.

It’s hard enough adjusting to post-cruise life without feeling like you’ve been dumped by Carnival.  If they can’t provide you with a list of convenient reminders, maybe they can just hold you and whisper that everything is going to be alright.

Written by seeker70

July 14, 2010 at 11:38 am

Posted in Uncategorized

2 Responses

Subscribe to comments with RSS.

  1. Jeff…this is a brilliant synopsis. It completely captures all those feelings. Made me laugh out loud too. I started reading through some of your back blogs also (and intend to continue to do so).

    I knew you had a stellar command of the English language, but you really know how to put those words together.


    July 15, 2010 at 12:20 pm

  2. A dream and fantasy…we all must wake up! Good news is that it can be dreamed again. Fun in the sun and a good escape. I completely enjoyed myself. Thanks to all my new friends that enjoyed the journey with me. Thank you Jeff for the post-cruise humor:)…


    July 18, 2010 at 3:46 pm

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: