The Seeker

A Meta-Cognitive Journal About Writing… Plus Other Stuff

Thesis Blues pt. 20: Return of the Thesis Blues

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Just when you thought it was safe to read my blog again…  BAM!  It’s back!

Yes, I’m again fumbling around with my thesis.  I’ve had it out for the past month or so as I apply for a summer writing fellowship.  The nice folks at the Norman Mailer Writers Colony want a 40-page sample of my work, so I busted out my thesis and have been looking through it.  I settled on a selection to send, and have worked on the edits my second reader suggested.  I’ll send it out by the end of the week, and hopefully I’ll be spending some time over the summer doing some more writing on it.

As I looked through my writing, I realized that I’m guilty of taking myself for granted.  There’s a load of great stuff happening in the thesis:  stellar research, a complex narrative arc that effectively bounces around in time, detailed characters, humor, tragedy, painful honesty, football.  I think over the course of the last year, I have forgotten how much blood, sweat, and tears I poured into the story and how impressive some of the results were.  But damn!  I’m a pretty good writer!

There’s something else at work here, though; something more important than me wagging my own tail.  I realized that I have a short memory.  That’s a good thing for a writer to have.  Forget about the crap you write as quickly as you can, but don’t rest long either on your greater achievements.  Keep pushing.

Finally, I posted episode 14 of this serial exactly one year ago.  I had stayed up into the wee hours of the morning to write, and was wrapping up my thoughts for the day as I sipped my third cocktail.  I know I was on the ragged edge.  As I think back about it right now, it seems like I was living an entirely different life in some strange universe that I could barely navigate.  I don’t even fully recognize myself from a year ago.  Life was odd.

Written by seeker70

March 9, 2010 at 1:51 pm

Posted in Uncategorized

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