The Seeker

A Meta-Cognitive Journal About Writing… Plus Other Stuff

Cheating on my Girlfriend– Day 5

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When you haven’t loved consistently in your life, any brief rendezvous you manage to concoct with a former lover becomes nothing less than the World Series to you. You start to live all the cliches the coaches throw out there to the media, especially the one about not worrying about the next game, just focusing on what is in front of you. You throw all you have into the brushfire of passion, bask in the fleeting warmth afterwards, and limp away with a smug grin on your face. When those rendezvous are cut short, sidetracked, or unexpectedly cancelled, the loss is devastating. You’re an empty shell; stunned. Desperation sets in– you have no idea when or where you’ll get your next passion fix. You want consistency; it’s the default setting of the human mind. Not getting it, or trying to substitute something for it, forces you off balance. You try to adjust to being consistently off-balance, and that state of adjustment becomes your norm. Then if the whole relationship thing somehow starts up, you become the visitor on a strange field where you can never fully adjust and play your best.

*

I probably won’t get to see Game 3. I’m in a wedding this afternoon that will most likely stretch into tomorrow morning. I’ll have to find a way to check the games’ progress throughout the reception. Thank god for the iphone!

I’m worried almost sick that St. Louis is going to go down in Game 3. Maybe I need a reality check. Maybe I need to remember that the 2009 Cardinals aren’t the 2006 Cardinals. This year’s edition doesn’t pack the power in the middle of the lineup that the ’06 World Champions did. They had Scott Rolen and Jim Edmonds digging in after Albert Pujols, and together throughout the playoffs, they hit .300 with 12 RBI and 3 HR. I don’t see Matt Holliday and Ryan Ludwick doing the same. Combined, they’re hitting at a .312 clip, but with an anemic 2 RBI and 1 HR. But therein lies the problem with banking on nostalgia: Things Change.

*

Speaking of Jim Edmonds, it was his name that came up 3 years ago when I was learning to hit and started wondering what MLB player I most resembled. It turns out we’re only 4 days apart in age, 1 inch apart in height, and 5 lbs. apart in weight. He hit .263 on the season in 2006. I took cautious comfort in thinking that if was still a feared hitter, then I could at least learn how to hit.

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Written by seeker70

October 10, 2009 at 2:00 pm

Posted in Uncategorized

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